Navigating The Journey Of Parenthood

 

Have you ever seen a miracle?

If you are a loving parent then I know you have. I’ve been blessed with three beautiful daughters. I witnessed all three come into this world.

I have a birthday coming up. At this point in my life I must admit the past year has been one of the most difficult for me but at the same time one of the greatest. It’s too personal to tell here in a blog post but if you know me, maybe I’ll share with you what I’m thinking.

I remember brining each baby girl home. So tiny and precious. They were like angels and watching them sleep was like witnessing a miracle. Early mornings in the darkness I would sneak an eye into their bedroom and carefully study them to confirm their breath. I locked the door and went to my job.

Each day getting home from work I would be greeted by cute little smiles and hugs. I am a girl dad. It’s what I always wanted, was to have daughters. Of course if I had a son I would be so proud. Today I wish I did but I’m wouldn’t trade any of my three girls for a son. A son would be a delight too. To mentor and teach how to be a man. A better man than me. I have nephews and it’s been great watching them grow into young men. I try my best when I can to give encouragement and inspiration as an uncle. If I can’t have a son then a nephew is the next best thing.

No matter, girl or boy children are a joy. 

As a parent I’ve made many mistakes and learned valuable lessons. I’m still learning. As a young parent I thought I would be the one teaching them everything. I was so wrong. My children have taught me so much about myself and I will be learning more I’m sure as life for me continues. 

The mistakes I’ve made as a parent, I’ve apologized for. If I could go back I would do things a little differently as a parent. I think it’s possible all loving parents share that sentiment. 

I’ve watched my three daughters grow into incredible young ladies. I’m so proud. I still get on their nerves trying to guide them with advice sometimes they don’t like to hear. My loving convictions won’t let me be silent. Sometimes I have to say things to them because I love them so much.

It’s a great reward as a parent to have your children come to you later in life and tell you that you did a good job.

I’m proud to be a parent. It’s my prayer that they are always well and blessed. If they face difficult times I’ll always be there for them if I’m alive and able.

If you are a parent, I would love to read your comments on this subject. If you want to be a parent, I welcome your comments too. Some things about parenthood I haven’t mentioned here. Please feel free to share.

Finish this listening to this song below 👇 

Calum Scott - You Are The Reason Official Video

https://youtu.be/ShZ978fBl6Y

The video isn’t that good in my opinion but listen to the words. 

The Time I Set A Chair On Fire

This is a memory that will stick with me the rest of my life!

The year, 1977 and I remember this time so vividly. I guess because it was such a traumatic event as a young child. I was four years old. One of my favorite things to do next to playing with my toys was watching old reruns of The Carol Burnett Show. I didn’t know they were playing reruns. I just enjoyed watching the comedic skits.

One particular episode I found hilarious was when Tim Conway had a pig nose on and was oinking. I don’t know why I would laugh so hard but I did. My mother would come in the living room and ask why I was laughing so hard. All I could do was point and laugh at the television. I couldn’t talk from laughing.

One day I was watching the comedic-variety show and my mother said it was nap time. I just couldn’t miss the episode so I begged and begged to stay awake. She finally gave in and said I could watch just as long as I stayed really quite. I was told to stay in front of the TV.

My baby sister had just been born not too long previous to that time and it was important to my mother to give her a good nap. I’m sure she was ready for a nap herself because of having a four year old boy and a new born daughter.

I really did enjoy the show.

After the episode was over I became bored. I knew I had to stay in front of the television and was not allowed to leave the living room.

I looked around for something to do but I wasn’t interested in the toy I had at the moment. My parents were smokers at the time and I found myself playing in the ashtray. The ashes and the squished cigarette butts soon lost my interest. I noticed the Bic lighter by the ashtray and promptly picked it up with my small hand, looked around to see if anyone was in the room, and began to flick it.

I wasn’t successful the first few times but I had carefully watched my parents make it work many times before. I knew if they could do it, then so could I.

It seemed so big in my hand and it hurt my little thumb as I rolled the flint wheel. It was almost unbearable. After some strikes, the flame finally held. I was elated! I tried it again and again. I had mastered the art just like my parents. My thumb was begging me to quit.

I gave the old boy a rest while still grasping the lighter in my hand. Looking around the room my eyes rested on an old chair in the corner. The chair was ancient and I knew it because it had an oder like must or mold. It reeked of antiqueness. 

It had fringe lining the bottom of the seat. I saw a single piece of fringe reaching for the floor and seemed to actually call to my four year old ears. “Come to me Robbie, come to me.”

Like a dart I was there, eye to eye with this single little string. Then like an epiphany, I knew I was born to create a single moment of dancing between the lighter I held and the tiny string. I was a match maker!

I carefully lifted the lighter in my hand and with a stroke, the flame appeared. I held the button down hard and silently said fair well to the lonely string. Then I did it! I sent that little fella to it’s eternity.

I never saw something disappear so fast in my whole four years. It was gone! But it wouldn’t go alone. It seemed to want to take a few more friends with it as it flew away.

The other obedient fringe grabbed the little flame and began to pass it one to the next. All I could do was watch the flame spread. What do I do? I have to blow it out!

I sucked in some air and gave it a good blow. The flame just spread even more. Try again! It got worse!

Wind would not do its magic to extinguish the flame. I thought I was a smart four year old boy and quickly searched my mind for what to do. I had it finally. An idea so ingenious that if employed no one would ever know I set the old chair on fire.

It was water! I remember from preschool the firetruck coming and the whole class got to go outside and see. The firemen in their uniforms extended the ladder on the truck to the heavens. I imagined myself climbing to the top.

The heroes showed us the truck and how it worked. How it hooked up to the fire hydrant and pumped the flood to put out fires. I dreamed of being a hero and saving lives.

Well here was my chance.

I ran down the long hall, or it seemed long to me, and skittered across the black and white kitchen tiles to the sink. That’s where the water was. I couldn’t reach the sink to turn it on and then I knew I needed a chair. I ran to the table and with all I had, I pushed a kitchen chair to the sink.

I climbed up on the chair and filled it full of water. I had it! That’s what firemen need to put out a fire and I was on my way to victory.

Running through the swinging kitchen door and down the hallway, I left a trail of water. By the time I got back to the old chair I couldn’t believe my eyes.

The entire ancient throne was engulfed with flames that seemed to laugh at me. Thick smoke covered the ceiling out of view and it rose forever.

I threw the little water I had on the fire. It wasn’t enough. I went back for more. That for sure wasn’t enough. The fire was worse.

So what did this fireman do? I ran back toward the kitchen, through the swinging door and on to the back of the house behind my bed. I was hoping it would just disappear.

Quickly smoke had filled the house and caused my baby sister to cough. Her cough made my mother wake up and she ran to the living room where she saw the old chair on fire.

She was a firewoman! She got a large pitcher and filled it to the brim with water. Making several quick trips, the fire was finally out. She had to open the door and windows to let all the smoke out.

The old chair was no more and left soot from the fire on the wall. I don’t know what happened to the old chair. I think it was probably a good surprise for the garbage man that week.

My mother told me to stay in my bed and to wait for my father to get home. I knew she was so mad she would kill me if she laid hands on me. I wished she would so maybe my father wouldn’t get hold of me. I knew it was coming. I was going to die like the old chair. I was terrified and just cried in my bed until I fell asleep.

Next I knew, my blurry eyes opened to my father saying my name. “Wake up!” There he was in his camouflage outfit. He was in the military and towered over me like a general.

Fear shot through me. I could hear him talking but I couldn’t understand. I was so afraid and I was just thinking how I didn’t want to die. The adrenaline stung my body and my heart pounded. At any moment he was going to grab me by the arm, swing me over like a rag, and give me a spanking I knew would be my last.

He didn’t do that. Probably because I had forgotten all about the beating my mother gave me before I went to sleep. It was shock that hid the memory of my mom’s beating.

He had the lighter in his hand and just raised it up in front of his face. He said “Look at this.” Then he flicked the lighter and I saw the familiar flame. While it burned in his hand he said, “This little fire could have killed you, your mother, and your little sister. Would you want that?”

I said “No.”

I can’t remember what he said to me after that. I just remember it being so threatening I must have buried it in the deep darkness of my little mind. I also remember the relief of him not spanking me.

To this day, just about every time I flick a lighter, that memory flashes through my mind at the speed of light or faster. Almost as fast as that little string disappeared.

#fire #childhood #memories #truestory

Fishing With Grandma

Thinking of my grandma today. Her name was Wilma. Wilma Ward. That was her married name. My grandfather, Bill misses her badly and right now he is 93 years old. He still drives.

I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was a kid. During the 80’s. My mom’s parents.

One memory I have of my grandma when I was young was when we would go fishing together.

She was an incredible lady. She gave me a Bible she owned before she passed on. In the first few blank pages of the Bible she showed me I drew a couple of circles when I was only a few years old. In one circle I drew eyes and a smile.

This was amusing to me. She showed me this when I was an adult. That’s when she gave me her Bible. I was touched by the gesture. She said she liked what I drew. I secretly felt bad I marked in her Bible and apologized for what I did.

The spine of the old sacred Bible is cracked from the years of use and seems brittle. I thought to have it rebound but I think I’ll keep it that way. I store it in a cigar humidor I don’t use anymore. It fits perfectly. I take it out and look at it once in a while.

I was completely spoiled to great fishing as a child on my grandparents farm.

I remember her saying, “Son! Let’s go down to the lake and go fishing.” She said she liked fishing and even if she didn’t get a bite it made her feel better. It calmed her she said. I didn’t understand the depth of what she meant then but now I do.

There’s something primal about the outdoors. It feels right. It’s like it’s hardwired into the human DNA. You know the feeling when it feels right.

There was a worn path to the lake from many trips. She would tell me not to brush up against anything green so we would avoid any ticks. I always came back loaded with ticks no matter how hard I tried. It always ended with a warm bath she made for me afterward. She put one small cap of PineSol in my baths to wash away tons of tiny “seed ticks” that would cover my legs. It seemed to work and I liked the smell of the cleaning solution on my skin.

We would get to the lake and pop open the tackle box.

I call it a lake because it seemed so huge to me as a child. She called it “the lake” too. It actually had an island in the middle of it. While fishing I would daydream of being on that little island. Oh what it would be like! Fishing from the bank there.

When I was four years old my grandparents made the lake. A big man in overalls came with a bulldozer and pushed the earth into shape. I was amazed!

He let me ride on the dozer with him. He gave me hard candy from his pocket. I don’t remember the flavor of candy exactly but I’ll never forget the feeling.

The earth was so red and rocky. How would we get water in there? Grandma said “Rain son.”

I tried to imagine. At first I thought they would stretch the well house hose to the lake and turn it on until it filled.

It wasn’t to long and the lake was full. It couldn’t drink another drop. Before it was full, grandma would walk to the lake to see the waterline after each rain. Once it was full as she like she told my grandpa to order fish. They stocked it full of Crappie, Bass, Blue Gill, Catfish, and Perch. They also put a few Carp in there. They weren’t for eating. They were for the moss they said and they grew to at least three foot long. I heard tales of grandma “snagging” one, and it broke her line like you could snap a spiders web.

There was a small spillway from the edge of the lake. It carved a beautiful little waterfall right into the rock. I played in the tiny spillway sometimes while grandma fished. Sometimes I would see tadpoles, crawfish, and even baby catfish that traveled their way from the lake.

It’s like a dream today. Where did that time go? I go back there sometimes in my mind. It feels good to visit.

Now when I say I was spoiled to fishing in the lake I mean to explain that they allowed no one but family to fish there. It was stocked full and grandma would often take a five gallon bucket of fish food and throw it in, one handful at a time. It was a frenzy. The fish went wild. It was a buffet.

It was nothing for me to cast a line and pull in a five pound bass or a giant bull catfish. Most of the time we would throw them back in to freedom. When the weekend came and grandma wanted fish, we would load our stringers.

It was a feast! I cleaned many fish with grandma and grandpa. She made homemade hush puppies.

How could I forget fishing with grandma. When she fished she glowed.

#fishing 

The Dancing Chicken Machine True Story - A Great Metaphor

 

Watch the dancing chicken on YouTube!

I am a Generation X'er and grew up in the seventies, and eighties. One day my mom said we were going to the county fair. At the time I lived in East Texas. Needless to say my younger sister and I were very excited. I went to bed thinking about cotton candy and corndogs. I thought about all the rides I would attempt with bravery. Hopefully, they wouldn't make me sick after taking a whirl.

The county fair was your average fair. Food carts were set up, and all the odors in the air did nothing but excite me. Burning oil and rubber from the rides, a whiff of popcorn, funnel cakes, and corndogs mingled with the sweet smell of cotton candy was something I would wear home with me.

The people who operated the rides, "carnies" as they were called, always had a look about them that was both exhausting and exciting at the same time. They would yell out for riders to dare the adventure and bark at those who didn't follow safety rules. I always wondered what their lives were like working and traveling from one town to the next. Where did they sleep? Did they eat the fair food all the time? Maybe they ran to the local fast-food restaurant and grabbed a cheap meal.

When we finally arrived at the fair I couldn't get out of the car fast enough. I was told to stay close to my mother and it was torture to me because all I wanted to do is run and look at all of the sights only to stop briefly at each ride or food booth to fulfill the lust of my young eyes. On lucky occasions my mother had enough money to purchase an "all ride" bracelet that allowed me to ride any ride I wanted as many times as I could handle. On this trip, we only had a limited amount of tickets.

At the fair, there were tents set up in a row that featured various attractions like the BIGGEST COW IN THE WORLD or some drunk carnie that was dubbed THE HUMAN PIN CUSHION. The tent doors were closed but each time someone would enter or exit I would do my best to peek inside and discover what the fuss what all about. Try to see if I could make some confirmation about what was advertised by the tent entrance.

My step-father was a hunter and entered a turkey shoot contest. He had to hit a bullseye using a compound hunting bow and would win a frozen turkey. He felt it was worth the entrance fee but didn't win. No turkey for us that night. I could tell he was disappointed the same as my mother. Tickets weren't used to enter that shooting contest. Only cash was accepted. I was oblivious to the fact his loss meant he might not get that extra soda during his next work week. 

There was one giant tent that was free to go in and we all went inside as a family. I saw at least twenty different vending machines that were set up in a row. I quickly figured out why it was free to enter. Each machine was a little show you had to pump quarters into. It was a trick and we fell for it. I asked my mom if I could have some quarters from her purse. She dug in and pulled out a handful of change. I spied exactly what I needed. She sifted through the change and handed me three beautiful quarters. I ran as fast as I could to the machine I wanted to feed.

The machine I chose was one called THE DANCING CHICKEN and I was desperate to watch this fowl entertain me. I quickly pushed three coins into the machine. I was tingling with excitement. I peered through the glass of the machine and noticed a tiny piano in the corner. What was going to happen? Was the chicken going to come out and actually play me a song for the mere price of seventy-five cents? Would it be wearing a hat or a costume? I couldn't wait to find out.

Music began to play as soon as I heard the kerplunk of my coins. Over to the side of the machine was a little door that slid open. While the music was playing I saw a little red hen run out and quickly stop at the center of the machine. She was facing me and kicking her legs one after the other while the music played. I was in fact witnessing THE DANCING CHICKEN. It was real and the machine sign didn't deceive me. Very quickly the music stopped, and a few pieces of corn fell into a small dish by the door she ran from. She ran to the dish, gobbled the corn up, and jetted back inside the little room she nested in. The door slammed shut and the music stopped. That was it. I wanted to see the show again but that was all the money I had. I knew my mother wouldn't pull a magic pile of change from her purse to give me another dancing chicken show. I wondered if the little red hen anticipated the next few pieces of corn. I'm sure she certainly did. I would if I were a chicken in that show.

Today there are no more vending machines with animals in them ready to perform for a few pieces of food. I am sure the chicken was well fed and watered each day or that's what I hoped was the reality of the situation. Animal rights groups have made such shows a thing of the past. 

Years have passed and I have never forgotten THE DANCING CHICKEN I witnessed. I have recalled that childhood memory many times and it always brings me a good feeling. You know, one of those memories that you can never forget. This is one of those.

Now that I am a grown man and learned many lessons, I have made connections and understandings about that experience. I have given it a lot of thought and discovered some things about life and business that can connect to the little red hen who is no doubt past the plate to another dancer.

Now what I am going to share here is no disrespect to anyone or any position in life. It is merely an observation and my intention is to open you up to possibilities and opportunities in your life. If anything, I hope you find my true story a little humorous. Maybe you will leave a comment below and let me know what you think?

I have often thought about that dancing chicken while working various jobs. I have even compared myself to that chicken. I didn't view my job as a negative thing. I would get up every day, head to work, and do my little dance. At the end of the week, when the show was over I would get my few pieces of corn and run back home. I had my paycheck and was happy to get it. I had a purpose and it was fulfilling. I couldn't wait for the next few pieces of corn. Do you get the idea? Most people are just like that little dancing chicken and go through the motions just for a little bit of money each week. Most wish they had a few more pieces of corn to enjoy or share with others.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not insulting anyone for just having a job and trying to make ends meet. My current job is more than just a job to me. I've done it most of my life and each job has taught me many things. I am just sharing my thoughts on mindset. Right now I work at a great job and get to help create beautiful products. I'm proud of that.

Let's go a little further in this thought process.

I didn't have the extra seventy-five cents to see the chicken again but I have thought about the person who owned all those machines with performing animals in them. I wonder if he or she had plenty of quarters. Surely they did because we were not the only family in the giant tent pushing quarters in machines. So that led me to another thought. I needed a dancing chicken machine! Then I could have plenty of quarters.

Here's the idea. When we go to a job we are like the dancing chicken, but what if you had your own machine? This is an entrepreneurial thought but instead of making just a little money, what if you had a business of your own that provided a great product or service to the public? You would no doubt reap the benefits of something like that.

Not everyone is a business person with the ambition of being an entrepreneur. That's ok and if you are content doing that then keep doing that to the best of your ability. I applaud you for doing what makes you happy and is rewarding. It takes time to learn the business and how to operate it. The good thing is we have the Internet today and unlimited amounts of useful information can help you. It is a learning process, and if you begin on the business journey you will make mistakes. If you completely fail you can always start another venture. You will take with you priceless business experience that will only help you succeed with something else. 

What hobbies do you have? Did you know that you can turn a hobby or an interest into a business? Just think about it. Do others enjoy the same hobby you have? They surely do. Then you can ask yourself how you can serve others that have the same hobby. Begin by asking what problems they have and coming up with a solution to their problem. Then go serve them by providing a product or service. They will thank you for it and gladly give you money in return. 

I hope my little story was fun to read, and you hopefully were entertained. Maybe even got a little inspiration from it to begin your own journey. I would love to hear from you about this idea.

Now, go get yourself a DANCING CHICKEN machine! That is if you are so inclined.

The Stallion In My Dreams - My Horse

 

When you are a child it is the big things that stand out in memory. The earliest memories are like a dream. 

My mom gave birth to me when she was just seventeen years old. Can you imagine how difficult it must be as a parent to have your young daughter become a mother?

Mom said she had never heard my grandpa cry like that before. She said he sobbed. I’m sure it was difficult for her to see and hear. Maybe she didn’t even grasp how soul crushing it was for him.

As a man, and a father of three daughters, I can say there is something so special about a daughters.

You see this beautiful little soul come into the world. Her tiny hands. Her adorable little feet. The sound her cry makes your heart weep. You want to keep her warm, fed, and close to you at all times. 

You see her grow into a toddler, a little girl, a young lady.

You work everyday thinking only of her happiness. When you come home from work she comes running into your arms like she has done so many times before. She says “I love you Daddy!” You tell her you love her too and try to keep a tear from forming because you’re a man. Men are suppose to be tough they say.

You would give your very life if it meant preserving hers. She’s this beautiful female that carry’s your blood in her heart.

You’ve done all you can do up to this point to protect, and safeguard her from the evils of this world. She’s not even fully grown into a woman. Then you are told that your baby girl is going to have a baby. The shock! She was just born it seems. Where did my little girl go? Who took her away from me? What will happen to my daughter? I tried my best to keep her safe! I’ve failed! I’m a terrible father! How could I let this happen to her. It’s all my fault! I should’ve been better!

He weeps.

Time passes, and as many young grandparents do, they help raise their first grandchild. They give their little grandson so much love and provide him happiness.

My grandparents lived on many acres in Southwest Missouri. They owned beef cattle that grazed the property they had to check often. There was a “dump” they called it. It was a giant ditch in the ground, hidden from view by those who might drive down the gravel road grandma and grandpa lived on. In the dump there was old fence wire, tires, and other various objects cast away.

Among the forgotten items I spied an old rocking horse that was free of its rusty frame with springs. I was with my grandparents at the dump. I saw the horse on its side and it begged me to set it free.

Come nap time, I snuggled with the old plastic stallion in grandma’s bed. I was the happiest two year old. Grandpa protested the old horse maybe because it took his side of the bed. Grandma wouldn’t see me part from my new best friend.

Grandpa tried to be part of the nap as best he could. I know the horse didn’t like him much. It kept kicking him in the back. I giggled and fell asleep.

In my dreams I still ride that stallion. There, I am free. 

The Science And Importance Of Hugging

When I was growing up with my sister I remember always getting hugs from my mom. We never lacked in affection or hugs from our mom.

Now that I’m a grown man, I am also a hugger. Now I don’t hug everyone I know but it’s a very natural thing for me to do if I’m close to someone.

Do you like hugs or are you a hugger yourself? If you are not a big hugger, I would like to encourage you to try it a little more often. You might find out you like to give and receive more hugs.

For some people who aren’t big huggers there is only one appropriate time to be hugging. It could be with a close relative at a funeral or when your child or close friend is in the hospital. No judgement here on the subject of hugging. If you’re not a person that hugs a lot, it’s not my intention to make you feel guilty for not hugging as much as others. I just wanted to write about the benefits of hugging and why it’s important to me.

You may be a person that doesn’t like touching people or being touched by people as much and that’s totally ok. Don’t feel bad for who you are.

Have you ever met someone who just hugged everyone they met? You might have felt a little uncomfortable when you received a hug from them before getting to know them a little.

Animals hug. I’ve seen dogs hug each other. Cats hug too. Monkeys hug a lot. I’ve even heard people being called a tree hugger.

As a girl dad I’ve always hugged my daughters. They’ve grown up to be huggers too. I taught them that not everyone likes to be hugged and they need to be conscious of that fact. Also I taught them it’s ok to reject a hug from someone if they don’t feel comfortable hugging them.

If you are having a bad day, there is just something about a hug that can make you feel so much better. A hug will make your brain release those feel good chemicals to your body that will brighten your day.

Have you ever heard of giving yourself a hug? Maybe give it a try. At first thought you might think it’s silly to wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug. Now if you try this in public there’s a chance you may get a strange look from people. Give it a try though at home and see how it makes you feel. It just might make you feel better if you’re having a bad day.

Children have toys they hug. It could be a doll or a stuffed animal they carry around with them and you might witness them hugging their favorite toy. I’ve seen little boys hug their favorite toy truck or blanket. 

Now going back to raising my kids…

They are natural-born huggers anyway. You may have noticed toddlers while playing sometimes will give each other a hug. That is such an adorable thing to witness. I think all humans are born with a natural instinct to give and receive a hug.

Ever since my daughters were born I always gave them hugs. They just loved it and would always give hugs back. My youngest daughter Zoe who is sixteen at the moment is a really big hugger. She doesn’t hug everyone she meets but truly she’s a hugger. When I get a hug from her she likes to hug for at least two minutes or longer. She even mentioned if it was ok to hug me that long. It told her that she could always give me a big hug and I never wanted her to feel like I was trying to rush the hug away. I believe as a parent it’s important to always show affection to my children with hugs. They need to feel it’s always ok to get a hug from their parent.

The fact of the matter is you never know how long you will have with someone on this earth. While we have those who are important to us I believe it’s important to hug them. If they are passed on you may wish you could see them again and the first thing you might do when you saw them would be to give them a big hug.

I want to finish up this post with the idea that you never know who might need a hug. If you are a hugger and you know someone who is having a really bad day, you can ask them if they would like a big hug. You never know what a hug will do for them.

I could write much more on this subject of hugging and its importance. Give it some thought and if you find it interesting please leave a comment below to let me know your thoughts I may not have mentioned here.

Check out the article link below on important new discoveries about hugging. 

Here’s a great article on reasons why hugging is important.  

#hugging #science #health #psychology #love #selflove

How To Attract Love By Practicing Self-Love

 As I write this post I have the musical movie playing in the background called, LALA LAND. If you have yet to see this musical I would highly recommend it. It's a love story.

I wanted to write about LOVE in this post. For most people, the word love can conjure many feelings. I am a father of three daughters and have shared many thoughts on love with them. We've talked about how humans can love things. A sunset, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, art, music, writing, children, parents, and even a partner or spouse. Love is definitely a deep subject to discuss.

When I was a child my mother would read children's books to me at bedtime before I went to sleep. I remember her doing that for me and I mostly remember how I felt when she would read to me. I felt special and important and I never wanted it to end. I would fall asleep with a fulfilled feeling and I couldn't wait until the next time she would read to me.

What a thing to love! Do you have a special memory like that as a child?

I remember all three of my daughters being born. If you have children perhaps you can remember the day your own children were born. It is a day most parents never forget. Seeing a human being you created to come into the world is such an amazing experience. Allow me to speak from my own experience for a moment. Obviously, I couldn't have the very special experience of growing a child inside a womb and I believe that is a special time for a woman while being pregnant. That is a time when a woman begins to fall in love with a child. Feeling it grow, move, and even have hiccups in the womb is powerful. I know this because I have talked to women about the experience. How beautiful it is!

For me, as a man, it happened the moment my children were born. Of course, I loved them before they were born, I just think it may be more special for a woman because of what they feel. I heard their little cry, saw their beautiful face, and instantly I was in love when they were born. It truly is love at first sight and an experience I will remember all the days of my life.

Feeling emotional yet?

Where are you at this time in your life? What feelings of love can you recall right now? Maybe you took a trip somewhere and felt a love for what you saw, the strangers you talked to. Yes, for me it is possible to feel a sense of love for a complete stranger. Love for them as a human. Not because I am in love with them but because of empathy, sympathy, or compassion.

Now let me mention being in love with a partner or a spouse. What a great thing to feel. You know the feeling. If you don't know what it feels like then you have yet to experience something you'll never forget. If you have experienced it then you will agree it is also an incredible experience you will no doubt carry with you until death. Being in love is beautiful! No matter how many times it happens.

Now I want to carry on to what I am really writing about here. It is about self-love. Let me just say you are worthy of love. No matter what you are currently thinking at this time or what you are going through, you are worthy of love.

You deserve all the best love in the world you can get no matter where it comes from. It could come from a pet, a friend, a child, a parent, or a lover. You deserve love because you are human with real human feelings that have something to contribute to this life of yours.

In my humble opinion you can never truly love another completely until you fall in love with yourself. Who are you? Do you know? This is an important question you must answer. If you don't know for sure let me as a few more questions. What do you love? What music do you like to listen to? What do you like and dislike? Do you prefer people to be honest with you or do you like to know people at a distance? There are many more questions you can ask yourself to get a better idea of who you are. Once you begin to answer some of the basic questions of who you are you begin to know yourself better. This is just the beginning.

Spend time alone with yourself. Do you struggle with thoughts when you are alone? If you do then this could be a good sign you really need to learn yourself more. If your thoughts are uncomfortable thoughts when you are alone and you don't like them I would like to encourage you to face them. Acknowledge them. It is ok for the thoughts to not be pleasant. By recognizing them and accepting they are normal human thoughts you allow them to just be. They could be thoughts about experiences you have had. Maybe they may be thoughts about things you worry will happen. Your thoughts can even rest on the present moment. No matter the thought just acknowledge them. They are real and valid. Accept it as an experience you need to have.

After you allow your thoughts to just be, then you can move on.

Now let us mention creativity. You have the power to create thoughts, right? Think about some of the thoughts on your past experiences and on things you love. Maybe in your mind, you added extra thoughts to those thoughts. For example, if you have a good memory you love you might think about how other things could've happened to make that memory better. You do this all the time if you think about it. Just recognize it. be aware of what is and what you create.

Now that we have mentioned creating thoughts it is important to mention that this is a big part of falling in love with yourself.

Begin to think about the qualities you love about yourself. Maybe you love your name. If you don't, you should. It was given to you and that's who you are. If you don't love your given name and you've changed it, then love the name you have given yourself. You get the idea though. Just give yourself some thought time. You are worthy of the time you invest in your thoughts about yourself.

Now a story about something you may not like about yourself and how to change it.

I use to hate my name. Anytime I would hear my name it would give me a terrible feeling. For many years I experienced this. I think maybe it was because I had issues with my father. He was out of my life at an early age. I held this against him in my mind. I'm over that now. His name is also Robert. I didn't even like seeing my name in writing or writing my name. It was not a good feeling. I would always tell myself that I hated my name. and wished it was different.

I heard once from a speaker that I could change the way I felt about something by telling myself a lie. I thought the speaker was being absurd. I began to put the speaker's words into practice by applying his advice to my name. I was tired of feeling the way I did about my name. I started by telling myself a lie. I told myself that I loved my name. When I said it I felt like I was lying for sure. I hated my name and saying I loved it just didn't feel right to me. I kept on saying it though.

When I would write my name I hated seeing it on paper. I just told myself I loved my name. When someone said my name I hated hearing it. I kept on telling myself I loved my name. I kept lying to myself in spite of how bad it felt.

When I would meet another Robert their name seemed foreign to me like it wasn't my own. I wouldn't let myself not like their name even if it was the same as mine. Robert for me was not a good name. I didn't want to personally not like the name Robert for someone else but I still didn't like it for me. What I would do was start to add to the lie I was telling myself by borrowing the positive thought about someone else named Robert. I would tell another Robert I met that they have such a cool name and we are cool because we share the same name. We were part of a special Robert club.

 Sound a little silly? It gets more interesting.

After about thirty days of telling myself the lie that I loved my name, something incredible happened. When I heard my name, wrote my name, spoke my name, and saw my name somewhere I didn't feel negative about my name. The lie I had been telling myself turned into the truth. The uncomfortable feeling of the lie was gone. I realized I loved my name. I enjoyed hearing someone say it. I enjoyed writing it. I liked seeing it written down. I was glad to have the name, Robert. I'm not talking about conceit here. I am talking about completely changing the way I felt. I did it by telling myself a lie until the lie became the truth to me.

This is an example of creativity through your own thoughts. If you can think about it, you can change it. Pure and simple.

You have the creative ability within you to change everything. You must begin where you are at. Recognize where you are in your own thoughts. Start by writing them down no matter how negative they are. This will help you by concretely being aware of what you are habitually thinking about yourself. You must know what to change before you can actually change it.

If you don't feel worthy of love, write it down. Start to tell yourself you are worthy of love. If it feels like a lie, keep on saying it. Repeat it all the time. I know you are worthy but that doesn't matter. You must know you are worthy of love. Tell yourself you love yourself. Look in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU! If it feels like a lie, keep on saying it. You will start to notice your feelings change about loving yourself.

I would love to hear from you. Let me know what you think here. The important thing is you must begin to love yourself first and foremost. Go on a walk and notice the things you love on the walk. Listen to uplifting music. What do you love most about the music? Eat some of your favorite foods. What do you love about those foods? The goal here is to get you into the habit of treating yourself and speaking those good words to yourself. Pretend yourself is a separate person. Would you say unkind things to a person you care about? Of course not. 

If you don't completely love yourself, people will find it difficult to completely love you. Think about how attractive it is when someone is confident or you can tell they practice self-love. You want to be attractive right? Good! Now get to work on yourself and start loving.

Start today. Tell yourself you are worthy of love first by loving yourself completely. You work on this and you will find something or someone to love and receive love in return.

Chocolate Crinkle Cookies Recipe

 

These cookies are the bomb!

If you are looking to fulfill that chocolate craving then you have to try the homemade recipe I’m sharing in this post.

So my daughter Zoe is such an amazing baker. A few years ago she asked if she could do some baking. As a parent, the first thought at a question like that from your teenage daughter might be, “Ok, but this is going to take a lot of time and supervision.” This was not the case with my daughter.

I showed her a few things about the oven and then she politely showed me from the kitchen. I’d go back every now and then to check up on her but she always seemed to be doing fine at the job.

Baking is a great hobby for kids. I believe as a parent it’s important to cultivate our children’s interests.

When she started baking the oven was a little out of date and didn’t work the greatest. I did a little searching online at the Facebook Marketplace but didn’t find what I was looking for. As the old saying goes, “Seek and you will find” I happen to scroll to a post that was made by a friend who had a used oven for sale. It was a good deal.

Now after a couple of years, Zoe has been enjoying a newfound hobby that really makes it difficult for me to watch my weight. I find myself watching her incredible baking creations instead.

What a great kid!

I myself am not a great baker. I love cooking on top of the cook stove. When I would cook I would show Zoe how I go about it and how I take recipes, add my own twist, and make them my own. I really cook for the flavor, and cook how I would want the food to taste. I think cooking is so much fun and there’s nothing more rewarding than cooking something for someone. When somebody eats my cooking and they say it tastes really good, it gives me a great feeling.

Zoe took what I taught her about cooking on top of the stove and applied it to her baking. She does her research of course but makes it all her own using time-tested baking techniques.

Now after some time, as I mentioned, her baking skills have most certainly impressed friends and family.

I would take baking goods that Zoe created to my work and share them. The compliments are all positive and Zoe loves to hear what my friends say about her baking.

Recently Zoe asked me if I could help her sell her baking. I know we have a local farmers market so I inquired about getting set up. I already have a table and chairs we could use but now I’m searching for a canopy to cover our setup. They can be purchased at Sam’s Discount Club but to help save money I would like to purchase a used one.

I have set a goal to make this happen for Zoe. I think it will be a great experience for her to bake and interact with the public in an enterprising way. It can also teach her a lot about business.

Do you think teaching children about business is a good way to parent?

I am hoping she will do well with this and will do everything in my means to make it happen. Hopefully, she will make enough money to purchase something as a reward for herself. She’s a bookworm so I know she will buy plenty of books to add to her library.

I will be sharing more about my journey with Zoe and her baking business in future posts.

Ok, as promised, here is a great baking recipe for Chocolate Crinkle Cookies!

Please leave a comment, like, and share! I appreciate you for taking the time to read my post.

Until next time!

-Rob :)

 Visit here >>>> Chocolate Crinkle Cookies, recipe by Sally’s Baking Addiction 

#baking #chocolatecrinklecookies #recipe

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg And My Update

 

I hope this post finds you well. I am finally in a space to focus on a few things and share with you what is going on with me.

The past several years have been challenging, to say the least. The year 2020 was no doubt a challenge for all of us around the world. I hope that you have recovered from quarantine and are finally back on track to the life you deserve to live.

A few years ago I went to real estate school in Springfield, Missouri. It was a great experience. I made some new friends and found a love for the real estate market. I'm embarrassed to say I had to take the test about five times. For those who don't know, the test is split into two parts. One part is the state portion comprised of fifty questions. The second part is the National part and has a total of one hundred questions. I passed the State portion first, which is supposed to be the hardest. I didn't have to retake the State test but had to go back to pass the National portion.

I was extremely interested in recruiting Realtors for eXp Realty. Unfortunately, I had to put my real estate practice on hold and seek employment outside the home. I took a job at a company called Armstrong World Industries based in Southwest Missouri. I began in the finishing department and then after some time was promoted to a CNC Operator position. I really love working there and have made great friends I hope to enjoy for the rest of my life.

Next to my full-time job, I am currently working on three different projects.

My first project is a niche website focused on homesteading, prepping, and survival. I have been working on my social media following for the past year for this site. All my followers have been organically obtained and spent no advertising dollars at all. I plan to invest in some advertising to obtain more followers in the future. My niche site is called PrepLeak and you can visit if you like and follow the social media accounts to always stay updated. www.PrepLeak.com

The second project is this blog of course. It's a more personal update on me that serves those who care to follow. I have a lot of updating to do as you can tell. Be sure to follow me on my social media links here on this site.

My third project is my creative writing. I am working on a screenplay that has been with me in my mind for many years. It is a true story love triangle drama that took place in North Carolina shortly after the Civil War. I believe you will enjoy this story and I will be sharing more about this screenplay in future posts. Hopefully, I can get it complete or at least a full unedited draft by the end of this year.

I am always reading at least five books at one time. If you saw my table where I sit you would actually see about ten books with post-it notes for bookmarks.

My daughter Zoe is an aspiring writer and shared with me a great book called Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. She wants me to read this book and naturally, I have added it to my pile of books. I will do my best to focus on this book and give you an update on what I have gained from it.

This is all I have on an update right now. I hope you have enjoyed this post and please leave a comment below if you have anything to add. I would love to hear from you.

Until my next post. have a great day and be blessed!

Facebook Strategies To Capture Real Estate Leads

 

It is important to post client testimonials and listings but you want to optimize your Facebook business page to help you generate more qualified real estate leads.

In this blog post, I will be going over a good amount of information that will give you the tools you need to use Facebook for real estate agents, including:

-Why you should invest time marketing on Facebook

-How to start getting leads today

-How to create posts that create follower engagement

-How to get higher conversions with landing pages

I would like to begin by focusing on why Facebook is one of the best platforms for you to use when capturing real estate leads.

Great Reasons Why You Should Use Facebook For Real Estate Lead Acquisition

If you are already a part of an agency chances are that you already have your real estate website and the agency maintains the site for you. A website alone shouldn’t be the only way to stay in the lead generation game. If you look at some of the top-performing Realtors you will notice they are very active on Facebook. Here are some things they understand.

Facebook is very easy and visual, which will work perfectly to get the attention of prospective clients. Most everyone is familiar with how Facebook is designed to encourage users to share posts. This simple and viral activity has become a favorite pastime for millions of Facebook users.

Prospective clients are on Facebook

The most popular social media platform for today is Facebook.

Think about these facts:

-Around 70% of adults are active users of Facebook

-The average user spends almost 40 minutes a day on Facebook

-50% of people view a home online before walking through it

After seeing facts like that it just makes sense for your real estate business to be using Facebook to market. Facebook provides you with analytical data of other users who see your content. The audience insights will give you plenty of information about your business page like, like how often your followers log onto Facebook. Your regular Facebook profile does not offer those statistics. The information provided will allow you to focus on key demographics that will help you run targeted ads that will get you the best result. Now that you can see why it’s very important to have a Facebook page as a Realtor, we can cover the best ways to use this information to your advantage.

5 Strategies to Win More Real Estate Leads on Facebook

Follow these steps and your calendar will be full very soon:

1. Build A Strong Facebook Business Page

When I say build a strong Facebook Business Page I mean to fill every information section that you possibly can. The more content you have the easier it will be for potential clients to find you in search.

Many Realtors will use their personal Facebook accounts to help them get business from their friend list. Technically this goes against the Facebook Terms of Service policy. The policy dictates users having a Facebook business page to make marketing posts.

 

It’s best to use your personal Facebook account to engage with family, friends, and new people you add. You can invite your contacts to like your business Facebook page and then market to them from your Facebook business page once they follow you.

 

2. Publish High-Quality Content

You should post content that brings value and interest to your followers. You always want to be selling yourself and your service through listings or testimonials, but you must make room for posts that give without asking for something in return.

 

The informative and entertaining posts you make will build rapport with your followers and strengthen your business brand that will keep followers coming back for more.

 

After your followers have been following your posts and they start looking for a home, they will think of you because of the high-quality content they are used to seeing. Your followers won’t feel “sold to” because you have built a rapport with them already. It is a win/win.

 

So how do you get started?

 

Begin with the 80/20 rule

80% of your Facebook business page posts should be useful, relevant content, and the other 20% should be for listings and other real estate information.

 

Make different kinds of posts and not just the picture real estate listings. Ask yourself if your posts relate to your followers and what they may be interested in because so many others are competing for their attention.

 

Focus on sharing content that other top real estate agents share, like:

-Area real estate news updates

-Real estate blog posts regarding selling and buying a home, relocating, or real estate value

-DIY and How-to’s like flipping your home, spotting good investment property, and home staging

-Checklists, and infographics

 

Your focus should be on building relationships and positioning yourself as an expert in your followers’ area. Keep your posts short and attention-grabbing. You must think long-term and not the short sell.

 

Incorporate more videos

Videos are very powerful because it provides your prospective buyers an easier way to visualize a space. You have heard that a picture is worth a thousand words, well a video is worth a thousand pictures.

 

A top Australian real estate group used listings with videos and their prospects' interest rates went over 400% more than listings without videos. Over 70% of homeowners who were asked said they are more likely to list their home with a real estate agent who uses video marketing, but only an estimated 12% of realtors use YouTube to provide this video service.

 

Begin by creating more videos, uploading them to your YouTube account. You can share them to your Facebook account but it will help you more if you upload the same video to your Facebook business page as well.

 

You will need more video content ideas. Here are some ideas that Realtors are having great results with on Facebook:

-DIY home fails

-Renovation videos of before and after

-Drone video of areas you specialize in

-360-degree walkthrough videos

Make one to three posts daily and ramp up to around five posts. Be sure to test the engagement rates often to get an understanding of the best times to post. The stats are on your Facebook business page back office. Try not to focus too much on how many likes, comments, or shares you are seeing. Those are NOT true leads. The whole objective is to showcase the value you are providing to your followers.

 

Discover from your audience the optimal post times

You can create the highest quality content but if you are not posting at the optimal viewing times, your posts will be missed.

 

The best time of day to post on Facebook is between 1-3 p.m. and the timezone should match the same timezone as your target audience. Thursdays and Fridays are also some of the best days to post on as well. Internet research shows that 80% of Americans live in the Central and Eastern time zones. As far as best engagement times, Saturday and Sunday will bring the most engagement rates on Facebook.

That gives you a good idea of when you need to get started with your Facebook posting.

 

Do some thinking about the best time of the day for your audience to be browsing on Facebook. Are they super-busy parents who are juggling school and work schedules, or a retired couple shopping for a new beachfront property?

 

Free content is great for your followers but gated content is wonderful for both you and your followers.

3. Grow Client Base With Gated Content

You will provide value to your follower base with the content you post each day. Gated content will grow your contact list that will convert to new real estate leads.

 

Gated content works much like a “lead magnet” because it attracts leads but gated content has more detailed information. Visitors to your site or landing page simply trade their contact information to receive gated content from you.

 

Here are some examples of gated content for Realtors which include, eBooks, PDF’s and whitepapers on topics like:

-Purchasing a home

-Selling a home

-Relocating to your city

-Guide to living in your city

-Area and neighborhood reports from schools, crime, traffic, etc.

 

You can use gated content as a regular post if you like or create a Facebook ad with it. Either way, gated content is strong.

 

4. Going The Next Level With Real Estate Facebook Ads

Let me make a very bold statement. Every Realtor in the country should be utilizing Facebook ads to target and reach their potential clients.

 

After you have a good practice of what I’ve mentioned so far, keep the following tips in mind:

Use the Carousel ad format so your followers can scroll through several different photos and listings in the same ad.

 

There are slow times in the real estate industry but be sure to invest most during the peak months of the year. A good example of this is a home in San Francisco may net over $15,000 more if it is marketed during mid-late April.

 

After saving money during the slower times of the year, you can invest more in Facebook Ads to get yourself in front of the potential buyers and sellers during the most important peak times to reach a wider audience.

 

Target a custom audience and market

Facebook will target your ads when you upload a CSV file. They focus specifically based on your contacts’ information.

This will keep you connected with clients who you have worked with in the past and just might work with you again in the future. They may even refer your services to another Facebook contact.

Use a lookalike audience to test

Once you have uploaded your client contact list, Facebook will be able to create a “lookalike audience” that will be very similar to your real target audience.

Facebook sorts through your contacts and will make comparisons to users in the Facebook database with the same age, locations, and incomes.

Once Facebook gets similar connections in the “lookalike audience”, your ads will be sent to them. This allows you to market outside your typical audience and get more contacts because of the similar connections with your current customers.

Target newly married or engaged couples

New young married or engaged couples are a great demographic to target as buyers. They are in a major life-changing time and looking to invest in a new home together or upgrade their home.

It is a fact that almost 40% of married couples purchased their very first home before they were married two years, according to a study by Coldwell Banker.

On the other side of the coin, you can target relationship statuses that will pull up divorcees. This demographic fits into seller leads and will collect in the grouping because their relationship status shows separated or divorced.

Target by behavior

Facebook will use its data and even a third-party source to collect information on people who are likely to move. Those potential movers just might need real estate agent services. They will be listed under a new mover or likely to move.

You can add on more demographic data

You can laser focus demographic data like age, income, and zip codes that you want to work in to target potential buyers and sellers. In the search, you can go to Locations, Age, and Detailed Targeting.

Install Facebook Pixel

Have you ever browsed online and then a short time saw a Facebook ad that featured the same product or service you searched for? It can evoke a strange feeling but rest assured it’s not voodoo or even someone stalking you. It’s the power of pixels.

When someone takes a specific action online, a piece of JavaScript code tracks the action. A pixel is a piece of JavaScript code and they are used to target ads based on those specific actions online.

Facebook provides this pixel code and you can add it to your website code on a specific page or landing page. For example, when one of your visitors fills out a contact form on your website where the pixel is placed, Facebook will target your ads to the engaged potential client.

When the ad is targeted to the best match it performs better for your conversions than an ad targeted towards someone who is not familiar with you.

Another great way to increase conversion rates is by driving traffic to unique landing pages.

5. Build a Unique Real Estate Landing Page Experience

Your conversions will suffer if every ad or gated content sends your followers to your website. The reason for this is most websites are very busy with a lot of information to take in at once. There’s information like your business, rental openings, homes for sale, links to make appointments, and many other things.

Individual landing pages make things much more focused and simple.

Landing pages are one page with one goal

When someone gets to your landing page, there should be a very clear message of what visitors are supposed to do.

The landing page uses in real estate include:

-Facebook Ad traffic. Traffic from your ads will help you have higher conversions and a better (ROI) return on investment if your traffic is directed to landing pages that are specific to your marketing campaign.

-Content that is gated. When you direct your followers to a landing page, they will need to provide their specific contact information before they can receive free content.

-Add subscribers to your list. Your landing page can be used to get followers to sign up for email blasts, a regular newsletter, or mass text alerts. Your followers will appreciate hearing about updates and new properties as soon as they are available.

-Property landing page. Every single property listing you have should showcase its landing page. A single landing page will keep followers focused and informed on each listing.

-Home appraisals. When you target people who are thinking about moving or selling their home with landing pages, they will give you their contact information to receive a free home evaluation. They want to know the value of their home on the current market.

Do you have experience setting up a landing page? Maybe you are wondering how to make our current landing page better?

If you decide to set up a landing page or optimize your current landing page, here are a few things to remember:

-Use just one call to action and one goal in mind. Don’t give your visitors too many choices. Keep your landing page simple and clean. For example, if you want your visitors to book a showing, the only link you should have is one that will allow them to do exactly that. Too many links or multiple options will overwhelm your visitor and could keep them from taking any action.

-Entice your audience with the right images and words. What is your audience looking for the most? Use the images and words that match what your target audience is looking for.

Remember the lead capture form

Keep the lead capture form as minimal as possible. You will capture the most leads by requiring the least amount of information. For example, a first name, last name, email, and phone number are very effective. You can add that information to your CRM and nurture it accordingly.

Remember the highest converting landing pages are the simplest. If you are not creating your landing pages, we can help you with this. We create laser-focused and responsive, high-converting landing pages that will get you results.

Use Facebook to Get More Real Estate Leads

Now is a good time to put all I’ve covered with you to good use. Be sure to create a Facebook business page if you have not already. Think of some great content ideas you can post to your real estate business page that will act as magnets for attracting some leads. Remember to drive every potential lead to a unique landing page.

 

Follow all of these steps I’ve mentioned to help you get results. If you are looking for some help in putting a system like this in place be sure to contact me for a free marketing consultation.

The sooner you get a laser-focused landing page campaign running the better for your real estate business.