As I write this post I have the musical movie playing in the background called, LALA LAND. If you have yet to see this musical I would highly recommend it. It's a love story.
I wanted to write about LOVE in this post. For most people, the word love can conjure many feelings. I am a father of three daughters and have shared many thoughts on love with them. We've talked about how humans can love things. A sunset, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, art, music, writing, children, parents, and even a partner or spouse. Love is definitely a deep subject to discuss.
When I was a child my mother would read children's books to me at bedtime before I went to sleep. I remember her doing that for me and I mostly remember how I felt when she would read to me. I felt special and important and I never wanted it to end. I would fall asleep with a fulfilled feeling and I couldn't wait until the next time she would read to me.
What a thing to love! Do you have a special memory like that as a child?
I remember all three of my daughters being born. If you have children perhaps you can remember the day your own children were born. It is a day most parents never forget. Seeing a human being you created to come into the world is such an amazing experience. Allow me to speak from my own experience for a moment. Obviously, I couldn't have the very special experience of growing a child inside a womb and I believe that is a special time for a woman while being pregnant. That is a time when a woman begins to fall in love with a child. Feeling it grow, move, and even have hiccups in the womb is powerful. I know this because I have talked to women about the experience. How beautiful it is!
For me, as a man, it happened the moment my children were born. Of course, I loved them before they were born, I just think it may be more special for a woman because of what they feel. I heard their little cry, saw their beautiful face, and instantly I was in love when they were born. It truly is love at first sight and an experience I will remember all the days of my life.
Feeling emotional yet?
Where are you at this time in your life? What feelings of love can you recall right now? Maybe you took a trip somewhere and felt a love for what you saw, the strangers you talked to. Yes, for me it is possible to feel a sense of love for a complete stranger. Love for them as a human. Not because I am in love with them but because of empathy, sympathy, or compassion.
Now let me mention being in love with a partner or a spouse. What a great thing to feel. You know the feeling. If you don't know what it feels like then you have yet to experience something you'll never forget. If you have experienced it then you will agree it is also an incredible experience you will no doubt carry with you until death. Being in love is beautiful! No matter how many times it happens.
Now I want to carry on to what I am really writing about here. It is about self-love. Let me just say you are worthy of love. No matter what you are currently thinking at this time or what you are going through, you are worthy of love.
You deserve all the best love in the world you can get no matter where it comes from. It could come from a pet, a friend, a child, a parent, or a lover. You deserve love because you are human with real human feelings that have something to contribute to this life of yours.
In my humble opinion you can never truly love another completely until you fall in love with yourself. Who are you? Do you know? This is an important question you must answer. If you don't know for sure let me as a few more questions. What do you love? What music do you like to listen to? What do you like and dislike? Do you prefer people to be honest with you or do you like to know people at a distance? There are many more questions you can ask yourself to get a better idea of who you are. Once you begin to answer some of the basic questions of who you are you begin to know yourself better. This is just the beginning.
Spend time alone with yourself. Do you struggle with thoughts when you are alone? If you do then this could be a good sign you really need to learn yourself more. If your thoughts are uncomfortable thoughts when you are alone and you don't like them I would like to encourage you to face them. Acknowledge them. It is ok for the thoughts to not be pleasant. By recognizing them and accepting they are normal human thoughts you allow them to just be. They could be thoughts about experiences you have had. Maybe they may be thoughts about things you worry will happen. Your thoughts can even rest on the present moment. No matter the thought just acknowledge them. They are real and valid. Accept it as an experience you need to have.
After you allow your thoughts to just be, then you can move on.
Now let us mention creativity. You have the power to create thoughts, right? Think about some of the thoughts on your past experiences and on things you love. Maybe in your mind, you added extra thoughts to those thoughts. For example, if you have a good memory you love you might think about how other things could've happened to make that memory better. You do this all the time if you think about it. Just recognize it. be aware of what is and what you create.
Now that we have mentioned creating thoughts it is important to mention that this is a big part of falling in love with yourself.
Begin to think about the qualities you love about yourself. Maybe you love your name. If you don't, you should. It was given to you and that's who you are. If you don't love your given name and you've changed it, then love the name you have given yourself. You get the idea though. Just give yourself some thought time. You are worthy of the time you invest in your thoughts about yourself.
Now a story about something you may not like about yourself and how to change it.
I use to hate my name. Anytime I would hear my name it would give me a terrible feeling. For many years I experienced this. I think maybe it was because I had issues with my father. He was out of my life at an early age. I held this against him in my mind. I'm over that now. His name is also Robert. I didn't even like seeing my name in writing or writing my name. It was not a good feeling. I would always tell myself that I hated my name. and wished it was different.
I heard once from a speaker that I could change the way I felt about something by telling myself a lie. I thought the speaker was being absurd. I began to put the speaker's words into practice by applying his advice to my name. I was tired of feeling the way I did about my name. I started by telling myself a lie. I told myself that I loved my name. When I said it I felt like I was lying for sure. I hated my name and saying I loved it just didn't feel right to me. I kept on saying it though.
When I would write my name I hated seeing it on paper. I just told myself I loved my name. When someone said my name I hated hearing it. I kept on telling myself I loved my name. I kept lying to myself in spite of how bad it felt.
When I would meet another Robert their name seemed foreign to me like it wasn't my own. I wouldn't let myself not like their name even if it was the same as mine. Robert for me was not a good name. I didn't want to personally not like the name Robert for someone else but I still didn't like it for me. What I would do was start to add to the lie I was telling myself by borrowing the positive thought about someone else named Robert. I would tell another Robert I met that they have such a cool name and we are cool because we share the same name. We were part of a special Robert club.
Sound a little silly? It gets more interesting.
After about thirty days of telling myself the lie that I loved my name, something incredible happened. When I heard my name, wrote my name, spoke my name, and saw my name somewhere I didn't feel negative about my name. The lie I had been telling myself turned into the truth. The uncomfortable feeling of the lie was gone. I realized I loved my name. I enjoyed hearing someone say it. I enjoyed writing it. I liked seeing it written down. I was glad to have the name, Robert. I'm not talking about conceit here. I am talking about completely changing the way I felt. I did it by telling myself a lie until the lie became the truth to me.
This is an example of creativity through your own thoughts. If you can think about it, you can change it. Pure and simple.
You have the creative ability within you to change everything. You must begin where you are at. Recognize where you are in your own thoughts. Start by writing them down no matter how negative they are. This will help you by concretely being aware of what you are habitually thinking about yourself. You must know what to change before you can actually change it.
If you don't feel worthy of love, write it down. Start to tell yourself you are worthy of love. If it feels like a lie, keep on saying it. Repeat it all the time. I know you are worthy but that doesn't matter. You must know you are worthy of love. Tell yourself you love yourself. Look in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU! If it feels like a lie, keep on saying it. You will start to notice your feelings change about loving yourself.
I would love to hear from you. Let me know what you think here. The important thing is you must begin to love yourself first and foremost. Go on a walk and notice the things you love on the walk. Listen to uplifting music. What do you love most about the music? Eat some of your favorite foods. What do you love about those foods? The goal here is to get you into the habit of treating yourself and speaking those good words to yourself. Pretend yourself is a separate person. Would you say unkind things to a person you care about? Of course not.
If you don't completely love yourself, people will find it difficult to completely love you. Think about how attractive it is when someone is confident or you can tell they practice self-love. You want to be attractive right? Good! Now get to work on yourself and start loving.
Start today. Tell yourself you are worthy of love first by loving yourself completely. You work on this and you will find something or someone to love and receive love in return.
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